French Politics: Now Featuring Cheese Monkeys and Chaos – Flopping Aces

As in Britain’s recent snap elections, the biggest loser in France was the previously dominant Republican* party (*a cheap Chinese knockoff) of Emmanuel Macron, which came in third, in spite of the fact that Macron closely resembles a nocturnal rodent. As in Britain, French voters punished the ruling party that held power during the pandemic, which ran under the slogan, “if they don’t want to take the shot, let them eat fondue,” or words to that effect.

Although the left won the most seats, none of the parties won a majority. Under the French system, which was invented by drunk frat boys in a moment of “enhanced cognition” during a Thai vacation, the lack of any majority leaves the hapless country “ungovernable” and potentially facing a “constitutional crisis.”

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