My Joke Was too Spicy for Broadcast

One of the fringe benefits of watching the Brian Craig Show on YouTube is hearing the comments that Brian, co-host of the Steve Kane Radio Show, makes during the commercial breaks. One such time was today when Brian read a joke that I texted him that was deemed too spicy to go over the airwaves.

BTW, I sort of get a nice high whenever I am in joke writing mode. When I lived in La-La Land I used to write jokes for comedians and quite a few of the jokes that you would read in Hustler back then were written by Yours Truly. The funny thing is they bought the WORST jokes I wrote not the good ones.

My Uncle Marty who was considered a bartenders bartender was great at his craft not only because he was very good at mixing drinks (and he never touched a drop alcohol himself) but because he could go through an entire shift telling non-stop jokes. He was head bartender at JFK Airport in New York and the mob guys used to love to go to his bar just to hear him tell nonstop jokes. One day when I was a kid when he was driving us on a road in the country I asked him how he could tell nonstop jokes all the time an he told me you have get your mind in a place to piece things together. I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about so he said, “You see that tree? You see that telephone pole? You see that bird?” When I answered “Yes” he said, “Quick! Make a joke using all three of those things you see!” Of course, I couldn’t but I understood the principle of what he was trying to get across.

Years later, after some practice, I was able to approach what Uncle Marty could do. (But only approach, not master it like he could.)

So this morning I was on a joke high. Besides the joke Brian read, I sent him a couple of more jokes based on what he was talking about on the air. One joke I wrote hit me when I heard Brian talking to a really annoying caller named Helen and they were talking about religious conversion and circumcision. Circumcision! How could I not joke about it? Well, added to those two elements is the fact that Brian is a YUUUUUUUGE Star Trek fan. In fact he was supposed to go to Georgia this weekend to visit Star Trek sets there but had to cancel out at the last minute.

Okay, I had conversion, circumcision, and Star Trek to work with and came up with this joke that I also texted him: “When the Star Trek crew convert they get Kirkumcised.”

Finally, due to a discussion about puberty blockers for teens, I wrote up a joke somewhat related to the first one: “Q: What do you call a puberty blocking clinic? A: Schwing Busters.”

And good night to you Uncle Marty wherever you are. (And I know you are still telling jokes on the spot.)

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