SATIRE: Satan Thanks Hollywood for His Grammy Award

Satire: Satan and Beelzebub sincerely thanked Hollywood for their Grammy awards at the 2023 Grammys. “As King of Hollywood—I mean, Hell, it’s about time I got this award, but thank you anyway,” said Satan. “Considering how open Hollywood has become about bowing to my rule, I half expected it, but it’s still satisfying. I would like to thank Lizzo, Taylor Swift, Madonna, Beyoncé, LL Cool J, Harry Styles, and all my good friends here who helped make this possible. Not to mention our sponsor, Pfizer, whose vaccines have sent many prematurely to our hospitable inferno.”

Satan, in his latest incarnation as “Sam Smith,” a non-binary white dude, danced around the stage at the Grammys. When a reporter asked “Smith” why “Smith’s” pronouns are “they/them,” Satan replied, “We are Legion.”

Beelzebub, who accompanied his master incarnated as the transgender “Kim Petras”, quickly lost interest in the interviewing reporter from CNN as he had no soul left to steal.